For the longest time ever, I have been known as Cassie, a thirty-something year old, HR Manager, Part-time Student and Single Mom to Ladybug. But that “title” is no longer true.
The official Part-Time Student title was dropped in May/June when I decided to take a break from studying through UNISA. This will be the first time in over 10 years I am not studying with them. Although to be honest I don’t think I will ever stop studying or grasping new learning opportunities with both hands, be it webinars, seminars, online courses or short conferences. Upskilling yourself is vital to survive in life and even more so in the world of Human Resources with the ever changing Labour Law and Acts, you definitely need to keep abreast of them. However, I can officially drop the Part-Time Student part of my title in life.
The end of July saw me finishing work, before we started our epic adventure. Which means I am no longer an HR Manager. This is the part I have struggled with the most. While this title quiet possibly drove me insane, I cared about my work – correction I am/was passionate about my work. Passionate about the environment I worked in, the people I worked with. Going into work on Boxing Day or New Years day was never a problem, if it needed to be done it was done. I would eat, sleep and quiet literally dream work. I never switched off… ever! Ok in hind-sight this is what contributed to the breakdown I had, but the fact that I never switched off. The last time I took leave where I wasn’t actually working or connected to work somehow was in 2014 when I was in Australia, and that was really only for about 7 days when we were in Sydney or when Ladybug and I took a Mini-Staycation in Dubbo. The rest of the time, if I was connected to the internet, I was working somehow even if it was via Whatsapp.
In the last 22 Days I have been asked more times than I think I have been asked in the last 6 months what my Job Title is and I have no answer. I started off by answering with a nervous giggle and saying “Nothing” or I would answer “World Traveler” and as the days have gone on I have been able to answer “Unemployed”.
Unemployment has such a negative connotation to it, especially when people speak about the unemployment rate in a country or how the rate of unemployment is on the rise. The thing is I chose to be unemployed to embark on a once in a lifetime epic adventure. I have been struggling with the term Unemployed because I am so much more than just being Unemployed.
While I have been battling the internal turmoil as to what I am, it dawned on me last week while I was cradling a sick Ladybug. I am a Mom, a single Mom yes, but first and foremost I am a Mom. No more at this stage is needed, this is what I need to do now. This is what Ladybug needs. She doesn’t need me to be a Part-Time Student, or an HR Manager, or a World Traveler, or Unemployed… she needs me to be a Mom. While I looked down at her asleep in my arms, a sense of peace eased the turmoil. Right now, that is exactly who I am.
I am Cassie, a thirty-something year old Mom.