I won, but at a cost!

Friday we got our visas for Australia. But instead of being over the moon, I burst into tears. It meant the battle was over, I had won. I posted a blog about the antics of the Australian Embassy, but it was a totally different story off line and reality was far worse than some motivational letter I had to write.

I was called a liar, I was ridiculed, judged and all because I am a single mom. I was told that a birth certificate, medical records and affidavit were not enough evidence that I was a single Mom. I was asked again and again if I was sure there was no father. I was TOLD that it cannot be true and that there HAS TO BE a father because she is so young. It was implied that I had to manufacture a father for her because it is impossible to be a single mother in today’s day and age.

I was asked if I was sure that this was my “story” and if I wanted to stick with it. When I said they should phone the midwife to confirm my “story” of being a single mother they told me they didn’t have the time to phone everyone in the world to confirm if my “story” is true or not. I was asked again and again what I mean when I say there is no father and how could he possibly not be in our lives.

I made a decision in June 2011 that I was going to be a single Mom and that I was going to raise Ladybug on my ace. I didn’t even tell her father until I was about 5 months pregnant. It is a decision I made and one that I have stuck to. I knew it was going to be a bumpy road doing this on my own, I knew I would get judged for it, I knew that it would be tiring and that I would need to make the best out of our situation.

Knowing all this, I NEVER expected an embassy to make me feel like shit about my decision. They have successfully managed to destroy all excitement I had for our first holiday overseas, the first meeting of Grasshopper Granny and her first Christmas. It has been an uphill battle since July. At one stage I had to prepare my Mom and tell her that we might not be coming through to Australia and it honestly felt like that.

As the days ticked by, I got more depressed about the whole thing and I wanted to skip Christmas all together (which is so not me, because I LOVE Christmas). I even had to tell my Mom to stop talking about us and Australia; it was the only way I knew how to cope. As days turned into weeks, I started looking at alternatives and other ideas for her first Christmas; half-heartedly because I didn’t really want to admit that her first Christmas was going to be stuffed up.

Getting that visa was a relief of months and weeks of stress, depression and anxiety, it was finally all over, and now, I guess I can start looking forward to going to Australia with Ladybug.

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